Eastern Utah
EMAIL ME AT: mgypsy97 at aol dot com

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I need a good cry!

I just saw the gastrointestinal Dr. who will do the bile duct procedure, but before he can do it there are a number of issues to be addressed.  Dang, I'm probably in worse shape than I thought.  The one good thing to come out of the visit was that he said they would definitely be knocking me out for the procedure.  I would have refused it otherwise - had already made up my mind.  There are some things I just can't do at this point in my life.

I guess he has to get the go-ahead from the vascular surgeon, a cardiologist, and who knows what else.  I explained that I have to be ready to travel by mid-August because I won't break a promise made to a 4 year old.  After that trip to NY I can die in peace.

So I have possible blood clots, aneurisms, bad heart, and other bad stuff to deal with.  I had made up my mind to just forget all about those things but they just won't let me forget.  And tomorrow I have a scan of my carotid artery scheduled.

I wonder if I'm just too old to live, but I sort of think I'm too young to die.  I need some good excitement in my life, although I really don't expect to meet him at this stage of the game!

I'd better get busy and come up with a plan to deep clean my house.  Don't want anyone saying "she sure was a lousy housekeeper".

About an hour later:
Ok, the pity part is over and I feel great!    

15 comments:

  1. Ha! I gave up on finding 'him' some time ago. You need to make your own happiness. You'll have my full support through the upcoming procedures, but a positive attitude goes a long way in my humble opinion. Don't throw in the towel!

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  2. Craig had three large stones in his bile duct. I think your proceedure will be like his. it was no problem and he flt 100% better in days

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  3. You are way too young to give up. Get the important things taken care of and go on your trip. Remember, the doctors are suppose to be working for you. Make sure they do.

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  4. Every time I leave home ... I wonder if this will be the last time and I left the floors filthy ... but I do have on clean underwear.

    well? when you come out of all the thising and thating medical stuff... I bet you won't be afraid to camp somewhere by yourself ... life will be an everyday adventure. laughing at death ... HAHAHaaaaa... you'll say.

    him? you want a him? what the hell for? The thought of finding someone who would put up with me is mind boggling and vice versa. Him's are too hard to train when they get our age and the younger ones just want to have sex ...

    hey... that's it... do like Martha Stewart and do Match.com ... all she wants is someone to go to bed with at night and have breakfast with in the morning.

    maybe not verbatim there but ... just someone to obviously share some sex stuff with... that'd work

    Yeah... pity parties have their place and I do enjoy a good one... the aftermath is an easy clean up if you don't get too carried away. debris everywhere.

    hang in there ol girl … you are way too young to call it quits. I think so.

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  5. After those last comments, anything I'd write would be redundant. The good thing about a pity party is that it clears the mind... now you can have positive thoughts! Really, aging ain't fun, but in my opinion, it sure beats the alternative. Hang in there!

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  6. Pity parties are a good thing. I had a few of them last year. But we got through it all and things are looking really good now. So charge forward and get 'er one.

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  7. It's the not knowing that causes the anguish. At 62, DH was diagnosed with incurable cancer, and we were devastated, but we just kept keepin' on! We lived in doctors' offices, clinics and hospitals for about a year. They told us that he had "about two years", but it has now been five and a half, with no end in sight. We are back to RV'ing, although no longer fulltiming.

    Accept any and all help that is offered. It makes a huge difference not to have to bear it alone. Talk to anyone who will listen; write down your thoughts. It really does help to get them out of your brain where you can see them.

    You have myriad friends here who care about you. Keep telling us how you are. We worry when we don't hear! ;->

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  8. Having all systems checked seems to be the new normal before they will do anything. Guess they want to spread the wealth. It really pisses my husband off that he has to go to the heart doctor before they will do anything.

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  9. Glad you finally got all the news and now you know the worst and you are still feeling pretty good. So that's a fine start to getting everything fixed up and ship shape. You are definitely too young to throw in the towel and far too alive. If it's not incurable they can fix it. And even if it is, ask David, they can give you more time. You have a 4 year old to see and a LOT of living still to do.

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  10. I agree with all the above! Keep your spirits up and your thoughts positive - that goes a long way. Good Luck my friend. :)

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  11. Think of the four year old and keep the spirits high. That will help a lot.

    We'll be thinking of you along the way with the procedures.

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  12. If you don't feel like driving after the surgery, consider Amtrak for your trip to NY. It will take several days to get there, but you don't have to pack and unpack in hotels and can sit back and relax and look out the windows.

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  13. Gypsy like all the above if you have health ins my God get it done and then think of all the time you will have with that 4 yo little boy, just think what you would miss at his wedding day...

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  14. Several years ago the "house hospital doctor" told me my surgeon had not expected me to do well. I had my son sneak my German Shepard in to my room at midnight 2 nights later.

    Since then I have spent many winters in Texas.

    Remember to walk walk walk after surgery.

    Thinking of you !

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  15. Lots of good advice & well meaning suggestions here. I particularly liked dorrieanne's "Accept any and all help that is offered. It makes a huge difference not to have to bear it alone. Talk to anyone who will listen; write down your thoughts. It really does help to get them out of your brain where you can see them". I especially like the last line about writing down thoughts. Some Bloggers are fortunate enough to identify with that & you are one of them:))

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