Am I the only one who is having a really hard time of this? I did ok for the first few weeks but now I think I've just had it!
I desperately need several things for my garden, such as topsoil, fertilizer and the like. Things I would need to have delivered because it's about a mile and a half to Ace Hardware and I can only carry back the items that are lighter in weight - not big bags of fertilizer! Today I just lost it and decided the heck with the whole garden. I didn't even water my little tomato plants today. I've raised those plants from seed and nurtured them to this point, and it just breaks my heart.
It is no one's fault so I blame myself! I may just put Rocky in the crate and walk there tomorrow and shop. I need to walk the aisles and find the products I need, or I will surely forget some of them. Then I can have them delivered.
And poor Rocky just doesn't understand what is going on, but he knows something is wrong. I've been walking him in the morning, and this afternoon I took him for a short walk. I also like to throw the ball to him out in the yard, but I don't have much strength in my arm. I'm to the point where I don't care about myself, but I do worry about Rocky.
So far I have been very faithful to walking on my treadmill at least 5 days a week, for a mile each. The mile combined with Rocky's walks should be good for me, although to tell the truth, I don't notice any difference. I know my legs hurt when I walk on the treadmill and they also ache when I'm walking outdoors.
I get a little irritated with my kids because I don't think they understand how much this is affecting me. They have families around them so they aren't lonely all the time. It certainly isn't their fault, and I know that - I'm just unhappy with my situation!
I am grateful for the way our governor is handling
this situation so far, and my hope is that we will notice an upward
curve soon.
Of course, then I read that there will be another
attack of the virus, and maybe even a third. Will it ever end? It is
really difficult from the standpoint of being so alone - I would never
want to go back to the mobile home park, although I had much more
contact with other people there.
I'm really not looking for pity, but it sure sounds like I am! So many of us are in the same boat, and there is no land in sight!
There are times when I think about renting a car for the weekend, and driving to all the places I have been wanting to go. I'd go to the hardware store, the grocery, the post office and the library! I'm not even sure the libraries are open, but that would be one of the places on my list. Dream on, Gypsy!
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ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. I've had a couple of good cries from the feelings of being overwhelmed and a little depressed. And that is not normal for me. I probably wouldn't be going anymore than I do now, but being told I can't go anywhere or Jim might die doesn't make this any easier. So you are not alone. We are just hanging in there. I'm doing my walk every morning but my feet hurt and my back hurts and I hate it. Boy am I having a down day. Need to get out of this funk.
ReplyDeleteYou and I are feeling the very same right now! I guess I am far from alone in how I'm affected by this situation.
DeleteHang in there, it will get better:)
ReplyDeleteI'm not even sure it will get better, but I guess I'll hang in just to find out.
DeleteIf the scientists can get a vaccine developed, that will definitely change this pandemic. In the meantime, try to keep up with your garden. You will be happy when you get to harvest your own produce. Here is hoping for better days!
DeleteFrom what I've heard it takes about a year to develop a vaccine, test it thoroughly and get it to market. That's one vaccine I would want to be tested and then tested over again before I would even think about getting it.
DeleteGypsy, this article from the New York Times today has some clear answers about some of the things you have been worrying about with the virus like catching it from droplets in the air, etc. I found it helpful and I think you will to. The article is from the Ask Well series and is entitled "Is the Virus on My Clothes? My Shoes? My Hair? My Newspaper?" The rather long link is https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/17/well/live/coronavirus-contagion-spead-clothes-shoes-hair-newspaper-packages-mail-infectious.html?smid=em-share
ReplyDeletesgsmith
It makes so much sense. While I have been worried about the possibility of the virus droplets being in the air when I walk the dog, I've come to the conclusion that my mental health is worth more to me than being scrupulous to avoid any and all contact. This article gives me confidence that I can go for walks.
DeletePerhaps because I am an only child and we lived away from our immediate family (cousins, aunts, uncles, granparents) it was only mother and I while my father went to work when I was a kid. While dad is no longer with us, Mom and I enjoy being alone.
ReplyDeleteI can understand why you feel lonely coming from a large family and then having four kids with families of their own whom you are very close to.
I think renting a car is a wonderful idea. You would not have to bother anyone and you could run all your errands and take your time at the stores.
The thing that has stopped me from renting a car is my eyesight. With macular degeneration I can't distinguish how close I am in relation to something next to me. I noticed even before I quit driving over a year ago, that I left a lot more distance on one side of my car since I couldn't accurately judge how close I was to the curb or the center line. What probably saved me is that I drove in the least busy times of day, when possible, and tried to stay off major thoroughfares and especially no freeways or interstates.
DeleteAnd remember, you have nothing to fear in renting a car; there are fewer cars on the road these days.
ReplyDeleteIn could probably take up two lanes, lol!
DeletePlease water your tomato plants, you have lovingly cared for them since you planted them in the little cups. What a shame to not give them the water they need to nurture them so you will have a bountiful crop.
ReplyDeleteI too live alone and my closest family is 500 miles away. I have been self-isolating for nearly six weeks now. Yes, it is not easy at times, but you just have to keep going one day at a time. Hang in there, do a jigsaw puzzle, crossword puzzle, read a book and water those precious tomato plants. Do not give up.
I watered them this morning. One of my sons has said he will pick up some necessary gardening supplies that I need, so I will see if I can get back into the mood. I am burned out by the constant threat of the virus, staying isolated, worrying about everything, and it affects all that I do or don't do.
DeleteMe too Gypsy. So lonely. I don't think anyone who lives with other people can possibly understand how it feels to be all alone all the time.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you are talking about. It's sometimes a blessing and sometimes a hindrance that I have a dog to keep me caring about the future to some degree. But for the most part, even though I'm an introvert I need to be around people and interact with them. Then when I go home I get my energy back in my solitude. Your situation is especially difficult because you aren't alone because you choose to be alone. Just hang in there, Sherry. It takes longer than most people realize to get through losing a close loved one, and all I can say is that you just have to take it one day at a time. I think you are doing better than you realize.
DeleteThe people that are on chat are now doing video chat and having so much fun. Not just at night but all day. We email each other and then get online chat. We use Messenger from FB and you can get 20 people on. We also still have chat at night. The people (I don't want to mention names) are people you know. Just email first we'll set it up a time and day. It's been a lifesaver especially with those alone. No typing that way. deewalter09@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI keep thinking I will get back to the chat some evening, then I lose track of time and it is already 8 or 9pm on the West Coast. One of these days I'll get it right. My kids are doing the video chats and love it, but I just don't want to tackle anything new at this point. Sometimes my brain just tells me "Let it go", lol.
DeleteI sure understand your frustration at being sheltered at home. Some of us thrive on it and others (the majority) go stir crazy after a few weeks. We have self isolated for many years as our nearest neighbor is about one mile away. We don't mind it but it is different when we are told to do it and when we do it because we choose to do it. I just heard the President say that those of us who have respiratory problems will have to stay isolated through phase two. These are crazy times...I'll be glad when they are over.
ReplyDeleteI have been alone for many years and have no problems with that, because I've always been able to come and go and interact with people when I need to or want to. This is an enforced situation, and I'm sick of it!
Delete