Most Beautiful Day!

I think today is the most beautiful day we've had so far this year.  It is about 75 degrees (F) with a light breeze moving the air.  I tried sitting out on the back deck for a while, but for some reason I feel better in the house.  I wish I could take Rocky for a walk, but I know better than to try.  I still have very little energy, and am unsteady on my feet.  Being able to leave the doors open makes it quite pleasant, although I don't have a screen for the back door.  So far I haven't been bothered by flies or other insects in the house, but they will  be here before long!

There still is nothing I can say about the move.  Jeannie and Donald have sold their house, and need to turn it over to the new owners by end of June/early July.  I sure hope we can find something definite as I really can't pack until I have some idea of the space I will have.  I don't remember moving being so difficult in prior years, and I've certainly done enough of it!

My appetite is increasing each day, although it will soon be Friday and another treatment that will cause me to lose interest in food.

  

Treatment is going well!

 I am so  relieved that I seem to tolerate the cancer treatments.  I went in this morning for an infusion, and the time it took was greatly reduced from previous treatments.  The tech told me that because I am tolerating it well they can speed it up a  bit..  I came home tired and a bit hungry - my appetite has been way off the past few weeks.  I ate a chicken pot pie that I had in the freezer and fell asleep for a couple of hours.  Now I don't feel good, but I don't feel as bad as I did before the treatment.  So I guess that falls into the "plus" column.

I decided to not crate Rocky when I left this morning, which was taking a chance because I thought I'd be gone for a much longer time.   He was happy to see me when I got back home, and the only thing out of place was a chewed up Kleenex he found somewhere.  I will be so happy to not have to keep him in the crate when I need to go out without him.  He will be 3 yrs old on the 28th of this month, so maybe there is hope for great behavior.  I feel absolutely terrible that I can't walk or exercise him - I'm afraid I'd fall over if I tried.  Jeannie tries to take him for nightly walks but she can't always make it.

I have gone back to drinking protein shakes in hopes of getting some energy back.   I'm waiting on the energy and am sure I will be gaining some weight - of course - in the wrong places!  The shakes taste so good (I make them with whole milk) but I remember getting tired of them after a while, so will probably reduce the frequency of drinking them. 

I'm starting to get back some of my hope for the future.  It's a constant battle to stay positive, but it's the only way for me to stay content and even a bit happy!

The Facebook Trap

Years ago I got on Facebook, but never really had much to do with it.  I never did like it, so a number of years has passed and I recently became aware that I still have an account.  I've spent several weeks trying to get rid of all the hundreds of thousands of "friends" I have acquired through FB.   Plus the person who had taken over my account.  What a rip-off!

I have tried to find out how I can permanently delete myself from this program, but can't figure it out.  I had been away from it for so long, another user had entirely taken over my access and no doubt my password, so I spent several evenings getting him off my account.  I still can't find out how to delete myself permanently, and if anyone has a suggestion I sure would welcome it.  As it is now, I go in and delete everything that has been posted, and the hundreds of names of folks who want to be my friend!

Now I know why the Eagles (I think it is the Eagles) wrote the song "Hotel California".  You can check out any time you like, but you just can't ever leave.  If anyone can explain to me how I can get out of Hotel California, turn in my key and be done with it, I'd be ever so grateful.

 

Not as Easy as I Thought!

Did I really think I would get off so easily?  Well, today was a different story.  I haven't been able to get off the couch all day, and poor Rocky wouldn't go out without me.  So a little while ago I sat in a chair on the back deck while he went out into the yard to take care of business.

I am feeling so weak today but have managed to eat a bite of food now and then.  I'll probably feel better tomorrow, but today has been terrible.

Hope all the mothers out there are having a special day!

 

First One out of the way

I spent about 5 hrs at the cancer treatment center yesterday, and will be going back every Friday for a few months.  The technician spent a lot of the time going over the treatment with me and answered any questions Jeannie or I had.  I think Jeannie is going to trade me off every other week, so next week Steve wins the task!  Steve will enjoy "schmoozing" with the techs!

Everything went well and I have no side effects from whatever they administer.   The treatments don't seem to last as long, but I'd rather go back every few years than to have hair loss, nausea, and many issues that cancer patients face.  It probably has much to do with the type of cancer I have.  

So today I took Rocky for a walk, and it was a toss-up which of us was more tired at the end of it.  I would have to say it was me, although I'm surprised that I can do anything at all.  I think the  best part of the treatment yesterday is that I feel so much more hopeful and positive than I did before.  I am going to get through this, and if I have to repeat it all in another 3 years, then so be it.  I need to live at least another 10 years for Rocky's sake!  On his walk he spent about 20 minutes sniffing the fence along the school playground.  That must be the main message board for dogs so I tried to be patient.

Donald brought me some of his protein shake powder - two different kinds.  I am really enjoying it with a glass of whole milk every day, and I alternate the flavors.  I've never been a milk drinker, but with the flavoring added and mixed into a shake, it is pretty good.  I might put on some weight but that's never been one of my worries.  I did try to put on a pair of jeans yesterday that I couldn't button or zip!  Most of them still fit though, and if I grow out of them I will just buy the next size.  

Hope you are all having a great weekend - our weather is beautiful and I have doors and windows open to catch the breeze.  I hate turning on the a/c and while I've been told it is more efficient to turn it on in the cooler morning, I don't want the house closed up all day.  It's going on 4pm and I may not need it at all today.

 

Treatments start tomorrow!

I am glad for this day to arrive, although I usually don't have enough energy in the morning to get up and get going.  My appointment is at 8am, and it takes about half an hour to get there.  I think they scheduled me for 5 hrs, but hope they gradually shorten the time it takes for the infusion as they find out my system deals well with it.  I hate to think of sitting in a medical treatment center for all that time, but know it will get me one step closer to feeling better and recapturing a zest for life.  I will be getting the treatments every Friday, and somewhere in the schedule is a break for about 3 weeks, and then back to the schedule.  I can only hope it works as well as it did 3 yrs ago.

Today was actually a very nice day and I didn't even turn on the a/c.  I hate to run it so I never do unless the temps are really sweltering.  I love having windows open, hearing the sounds of the outside - the birds, barking dogs, and traffic.  The only thing I dislike are the sounds of planes going over - for some reason I don't like airplanes at all, nor the sounds they make.  That goes double for helicopters - those awful, noisy machines! 

So any positive thoughts and vibes are welcome.  I am very positive about the outcome of these  treatments, and sure hope I get a renewed purpose for life.  I think there is a country singer who recorded a song years back - something like "I'm too young to feel this damn old!"  If you recognize the title, please let me know who sang it.  I'm too young to lose so much of my memory!

Quick update

 I am hoping to get back to a more regular posting schedule, but it won't be for several weeks yet.  I start the cancer treatments this Friday and hope to see good results quickly.  The treatments worked so well the last time I had them, about 3 years ago.  At least I'm able to eat small amounts of food a couple of times a day.  I am desperate for some energy, but so far it has been elusive.  So I mostly sit in the couch!