I might as well have stayed home this morning rather than visit the doctor. She refused to agree that my problems with fatigue were due to anything but anemia, and that the thyroid wasn't an issue. Shortly after I arrived home I had a message from the endocrinologist also stating that it was anemia and not thyroid, and that taking even a small dose of synthroid would be of no use.
The doctor wants to send me for as many tests as possible to determine why I'm anemic. I refused a colonoscopy, I refused to go to the main hospital to see a hematologist, and she was a little upset with me. I don't go to the main hospital because it entails parking in a very crowded and busy garage which is too dark for me to see well. I swore off ever going back when I nearly hit an old man who walked in front of my car in that garage.
As I see it, I am going to go on as usual and try an attitude adjustment to keep up my energy and spirits. She even had the nerve to start asking me if I was suffering from depression, and asked a number of questions about it. I think I keep a fairly positive attitude for what I'm contending with, and as I have said before, no matter how I feel or what happens to me, I have joy in my heart. Does that sound like depression? Maybe I just don't understand clinical depression, but I don't think I have it.
So I'm just going to try to live as normal a life as I can; I look around me now and ask myself, "Where do I start?", which could make me want to go back to bed when I see all the things I've let go lately!
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Since I suffer from dysthymia (chronic depression). Here are the symptoms. You wake up every morning wishing you were still asleep, because what's the point; it's the same old crappy life as yesterday. You go seek medical help when you get low enough you cry because you have to face another day. You roll over and pull the covers over your head because you just can't face another day. You have stopped functioning and you don't feel hope for you feeling better.
ReplyDeleteBeing depreseed/unhappy about a change in your life is a normal human response to change, be the change good or bad. Take some time to reflect on the change that is going on in your life at this time. Then develop a plan of action. If you can't develop a plan of action. Then, yes, you need to seek some moral support/counseling.
Hugs and good luck!
I am so sorry to hear about your suffering, and I feel sort of guilty because I don't have anything to compare with that. I'm just plain worn out, no doubt due to the anemia and whatever else is trying to bring me down, and that is a depressing thing in itself. I'm going to try changing my mental attitude beginning today, and I know the mind can work miracles sometimes. I just made myself go to the gym where I walked 1.1 miles on the treadmill, and I FEEL GREAT (haha, that might be a stretch!).
DeleteFrom your comments you sound more upset or angry than depressed. Of course you are frustrated right now. Fix yourself a cup of calming chamomile tea (if you don't have a problem with chamomile) and start writing a list of the things you are thankful for. Don't hurry, but savor them. What wonderful children you have for a start. You may not feel physically better when you are through, but perhaps it might lift your spirits a bit. Also, there is an amazing amount of information on the internet regarding health. I'm not a "bubbly" kind of person by nature, but do find if I can laugh and see humor in something it is a great release. Now that is a hard one!
ReplyDeleteWhen the going gets tough, the tough take a power nap! I just woke up feeling fine; although I am still thinking about all the projects I'm going to work onI haven't started one yet! I'm finding more humor in my situation than I thought I would - having two doctors team up on me makes me think I have something to say!
DeleteWhat Janet said about counting your blessings helps a lot. I say prayers of gratitude every evening as I go to sleep. It has helped a lot.
DeleteI do the same thing! I think gratitude is one of the most important attributes we can have. I have plenty to be grateful for.
DeleteCostco has a really good B12 supplement. There are 2 types of B12, Methylcobalamin and Cyanocobalamin. You want the one that start with M (that's how I remember it), and there is a Kirkland brand 5000mcg supplement that you put under your tongue and it dissolves and doesn't taste too bad. It bypasses the issue of the lining of the stomach not being able to absorb the C type and convert it. My doctor wanted me on 3000mcg/day to get better (I asked to do over the counter supplements rather than the shots) and this worked so well they suggested I back off on the supplement at the next check up. I take it 2-3 times a week now. Just one option.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. I've added it to my Costco list for my next trip there.
DeleteBravo to you! I think you have a good attitude for what your
ReplyDeletedealing with. Getting a clear and concise diagnoses is usually
the hardest part of getting well.
The B-12 may be just what you need ..... Let's hope !!!
Now I have two doctors double teaming me to make an appointment in hematology/oncology. As I said before, I don't care what is causing my fatigue but I just want to feel better. There are no doubt dozens of time consuming, expensive, and invasive tests they could do but I'm not a guinea pig. If they don't want to help me feel better then I'll take matters into my own hands.
DeleteI agree with Linda A. and Shadowmoss. You can't go wrong taking some good Vitamin 12, but don't forget it needs a good food based complex B. You are on the right track by doing some positive things for yourself.
DeleteI will try it, and as I'm a label reader I think I will choose a good brand.
DeleteDid you tell them both that the garage is a problem for you and so are all the tests they want that may or may not be necessary? Hope so since perhaps if more people did that they would stop feeling like they are god and start realizing people aren't interested in being guinea pigs.
ReplyDeleteYes, I specifically mentioned the trouble I have with driving and parking in that garage. She kept insisting that I could get one of my kids to drive me. Of course I could do that but I'm not going to do that. I don't want to ask my kids to take off work to drive me somewhere unless it is absolutely necessary. I don't know why they didn't do another thyroid test to see if those results have changed.
DeleteThank you Gypsy for your blog and for the comment from Shadowmoss !! Last night I spent an hour researching vitamin B-12. Although I do not have anemia, I do have some very serious eye/vision issues. I looked at my multivitamins and they only have a small amount of the synthetic B-12 (cyanocobalamin) - the worthless form ! I am on my way to buy Methyl-B12 in 5000 mcg . From my readings it can slow down, stop, and in some cases even slightly improve several of the eye diseases from which I am going thru. It sounds like the Methyl B-12 would help both your anemia and your eyes - and injections are definitely not needed. I also refuse to have a lot of doctors poking and testing. I would tell them you are taking a vacation from EVERYONE of them for 6 months. Do some research on your own, bask in the Love from your family, enjoy favorite foods, and be Happy !! Best Wishes and Thanks again.
ReplyDeleteI'm anxious to try the B-12 and if it helped my vision that would be an added bonus. I'm also glad to know that others feel the way I do about the medical profession. Depending on your situation there is so much more knowledge and better treatments than ever before, so I don't want to criticize the entire field of medicine. But I also think that there are a lot of tests and procedures done because they can collect Medicare/other insurance on. I also worry that pharmaceutical companies direct the course of medical practice in many cases. I doubt that I'll hear any more from either of these doctors, at least until my follow up with the G.P. in 4 months.
ReplyDeleteWORDS OF WISDOM: This is totally apart from today's blog and comments, but it's too good not to share. Since I'm leaving soon for my appt. to get my eyes examined, I thought I'd just post it here. The words of wisdom: "In case of nuclear blast, don't condition your hair." I didn't click on the story but the title brightened my day and made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteLike Moonfly13 I also learned a lot from this post. I think I too will look into the B12 supplement Shadowmoss suggested.
ReplyDelete